Handling disrespect in the moment is not always easy especially when your nervous system automatically goes into fight or flight. In moments that seem to trigger or cause you to shut down, there is always a way out. A way out that does not disrupt your peace and your calmness. Let’s chat about how to deal with pressure and disrespect.
There were moments where I’ve conversed with someone and they demanded respect while also not giving it. Overtalking, interrupting, blame-shifting and yelling. Those moments can be tough, especially when there is something that you are trying to get resolved.
The most important thing that you can do in these moments is breathe and remain calm. You do not have to feel rushed to respond or defend yourself. In fact let them have their opinion, they are entitled to it, but you don’t have to receive it.
It is important for you to know your identity in Christ. Who you are at your core. No matter how someone may try to personally attack, weaponize criticism, or play the victim; you have to know your truth and stand firm on it. In those moments you have a choice.
You can choose to step in the game that someone is playing with you, by getting defensive, over-explaining or you can see it as a “them” problem. Oftentimes, people are just projecting their own wounds and pain because they have not sat with it to heal it.
Establishing Boundaries
I’ve learned through many experiences that boundaries are to help guard your heart, your peace of mind, and your mental, physical and spiritual well-being.
Establishing boundaries is for you. You have to realize that as much as we want to change someone, we have no control over their actions, what they say or what they do. What we do have control over is how we respond. Sometimes we end up having resentment because we overstepped our own boundaries and wonder why the other person doesn’t see our effort or how we express ourselves or show up. That is often associated with pleasing people and being over accommodating.
Holding healthy boundaries, no matter how someone responds to it, is your responsibility. You may be provoked or manipulated to loosen up your boundaries or give in. Stand firm. Especially, if you know the intent of the person or group is to wear you down so that they get the access or accomplish what they want which is typically not in your best interest.
Set a boundary and stick to it. Keep an affirmation on hand that reminds you why the boundary is there and know that it is to protect and guard your heart. It is important that you cultivate an environment around you that is conducive to growth not destructive. Push out of that survival and choose to grow and thrive. It may not be easy, you may not see the results right away, but trust that the more you pour into yourself the more you are watering that seed that will bloom and flourish.
Response
You do not have to respond to every sting, dig or jab. I’ve often imagined a shield of faith around me that as those things come they just fall to the ground. We are not responsible for other adults’ emotions. They have to choose to heal, to choose to become better. We can not force or pacify a change. That will leave you depleted. Leave them to God.
Only God can change their hearts; they have to be open to receive Him. You can decide to pray for them and pray that their mind is renewed and they are cleansed and their heart is softened, but ultimately that’s a God job.
As hard as it is to show up in compassion, you have to! Choose to steward over that peace and love. Don’t allow others to dim your light. That is why it is so important to know who you are.
When you reclaim your power and strength in God, you realize how some things are not worth the energy. Sometimes, we tend to replay conversations, reread messages, but know that it’s not feeding your soul.
Mentally shift to something that will water your soul, that will uplift you. Love on those who love you. Do something that radiates you from within.
Your Identity
I’ve begun to pay attention to things that upset me, that causes me to overthink. You have to sit with those things and write them out. Oftentimes, if you are dealing with a difficult person, they know your triggers, they know what to say to get to you, they know how to push your buttons.
Take a mental note of these things and then later sit with them before God and ask him to heal those areas. Release them to him so that he can give you strength in these areas.
You have to remind yourself that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). You are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9), God’s beloved. Remind yourself of that daily. There is such a freedom in knowing who you are in God. That He will never leave you nor forsake you. He is with you through it all.
Even the difficult moments when you want to give up. When you just say you rather do it alone. He comes in with His supernatural strength and reminds you that He is with you. Do not be dismayed or discouraged, He’s walking with you. There is a peace that comes that surpasses our understanding of the current situation or circumstance. God is always in control.
Today, I want you to ask yourself what can I do to fill my cup today? This journey of motherhood is beautiful, sacred, and full of joyful memories, but it also has its responsibilities.
It is vital that we take intentional time to honor our roles, and the stewardship God has given us or our kiddos. It takes emotional and mental strength to heal, become whole, and create an environment where our children can also thrive in wholeness.
I hope this message has encouraged you today. Take a moment to pray, reflect, and consider how you can truly show up for yourself.
Write it down. If you need a journal, grab one here https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FCMZXWHH and begin today. Be blessed.